ME - Uncovered

Welcome to my blog ;)

This is my very first blog... yay!!!

I have decided to start a blog purely to prove to myself that I can indeed finish something! So my goal and ambition is to blog every day for a week, then push it to everyday a month and so on and so forth.... 

I am 31 years old, wife and mommy to two precious girls, Leila and Taige, ages 5 & 3. I have the most wonderful, amazing and caring husband who I fall more in love with every day! We will be married for 7 years on the 15th December. Oh and I live in Zimbabwe, Afica. (And NO I don't ride an elephant to work :) I have a car as do most people in Africa - hee hee)

I have recently been diagnosed with depression, due to burning myself out working so hard and a large part to do with self hatred and worrying what people think of me and constantly trying to mould myself into other people's view of what I think they think I should be. E X H A U S T I N G! At the age of 31 and with two kids, I no longer have the engergy to please others but my family and myself!

I really feel God is working in me, peeling my layers like an onion and really making me sit and think that he made me WHO I am, why change? There is no other like me in this entire planet! Why not be me? I have loads of beautiful friends so I must be doing something right, yes? YES!! 

I get stronger every day and heal more everyday. I was bullied quite badly at school and it destroyed my self image, I cannot sit and feel sorry for myself any more that I was picked on. I can't blame someone else for my attitude and poor self image when I am responsible to make myself happy. Me no one else, I wake up and chose to be happy or sad. That is my decision.

I read the most profound post on Pinterest a few days ago and it has completely changed  my out look on life. It said, 'Would you talk to your best friend or loved one the way you talk to yourself? Would you be as harsh to them as you are to yourself? Then why do you treat yourSELF like you do?' Man, I tell ya, it hit home! I suddenly realised the way I have been treating myself my whole life. I would never dream to berate anyone the way I berate myself, ever! So from that day forward, I have been a whole lot nicer to myself - and guess what? I have a lot more peace and actually have started to like myself, progress!

I also realised when reading the bible how many haters Jesus had towards the last few years of his life. He was perfect, absolutely fautless, he loved, never judged. He healed the sick, spent time with the poor he was a fresh breath of air! Anyone would want Him as a friend - yet he had people who disliked Him. I got to thinking, if Jesus who was PERFECT in every way had a tough crowd to please then there was no hope for me trying to be everyone's friend. How liberating!! Honestly, thew, a whole building escaped my shoulders! I can be me and be around people who like me for me...

That's my story.. uncovered!